"Who Do You Say That I Am?"

Journal entry from August 1, 2012:

“Do you really believe in My power? I have been teaching you what it means to ask in faith…do you ask things from Me in faith? Do you really believe I can change the world? Do you really believe I can use you to change the world? Do you really believe that I have the power to bring a revival to your school? My child…who do you say that I am?”

I’m a bit overwhelmed. Not in a bad way…in a convicting way. This morning I have heard God so clearly… The Lord started convicting me about my school, specifically the high school and my senior class. For years, my mom and I have been praying for a revival- but while praying for a revival, have I asked for it in faith? Do really believe in faith that God can do it? And then BOOM, I felt like Peter in Matthew 16:15, as the Lord asked me, “Who do you say that I am?” Not, “who have your parents told you to say that I am?” or “who have your church and school leaders trained you to say that I am?” Who do I say God is? I found my answer to this question from three years ago, on a Freshman NT Survey test:

“Who is God? He is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Later, John 1:14 says that the Word (God) became flesh and dwelled among us, which means that God is also Jesus. Therefore, God is triune. Romans 3:3-4 also says how God is faithful and true. Through sending His Son as a Sacrifice to rightfully punish our sin, one can see that God is also just. John 3:31 says “The One who comes from above is above all” therefore God is ruler and higher than anyone. The Creator of all things- Genesis 1 says God is that, too. He is the Father of Christians and the judge for non-Christians (Jude 1:15). God is magnificent.”

I still believe this today, now not because that’s what everyone else has told me, but because I have read it in God’s Word, and I have experienced His truth firsthand many times… Lord, continue to challenge and convict me. Thank You that You convict and don’t condemn Your children (Rom. 8:1). Thank You for Your forgiveness and thank You for Your Words, for “You have words of eternal life” (John 6:68).

 

One month later has passed since I wrote that entry, and now having been a believer for eleven years, the Lord still probes my mind with this question. “My child…who do you say that I am?” It’s so easy to respond the way we were taught from years of Sunday school and Bible classes, and while it’s important to answer in truth, it is also important to live the truth. This week I heard a wise man ask, “If every spiritual leader in your life were to fall away from the Lord, would you still stay strong in your faith, because your faith is your own?” Do I live in faith? Do I live in my own faith, not in the faith of people I look up to? Do I live believing that God is sovereign, has complete control of every event in my life, and holds the balance of the universe in His hands (Col. 1:17)? Do I believe that the things of this world will never satisfy me, but that my thirst can only be quenched by the Living Water (John 4:14)? And a question I wrestled with a lot this summer is, do I live like I believe in God’s power? Do I live like I believe that He has the power to save the lost? The power to bring revival to the communities I am involved with? The power to take the hearts of my senior class and “knit them together in love”? The power to radically change my own life? Who do I say God is? Who do you say God is? And more importantly, do we actually live out our answer?

 

I just finished reading through 1 Corinthians, and the ending really grabbed my attention. Before Paul gives his final greetings, he discusses the victory we have in Jesus. The first time I read this passage, I got chills. Reading about God’s power will do that to you.

 50 Now I say this, brethren , that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51 Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed….54 “Death is swallowed up in victory, 55 O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” 56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; 57 but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.

-1 Corinthians 15:50-58

I read this passage after I came home from a mission trip to El Salvador, and God used it to comfort me. Coming home from the trip, I was, as the rest of the team I’m sure, exhausted; physically, emotionally, but mostly spiritually. It was an incredible trip, but it didn’t go without some trials and serious doubts. On the trip, I continually struggled with my, I guess you could say, “eloquence” in communicating the Gospel and sharing my testimony to the children we witnessed to. I felt as if my efforts to obey the Great Commission were failing miserably, and for a few days, I would try to speak one-on-one with children, telling them about the free gift of Jesus, only to have them either be completely distracted, just awkwardly sit in silence, or ask questions I didn’t know the answer to. I was beginning to feel very discouraged. I was relying on my own power, which is never a good idea. It was as if, without realizing it, I had told God, “Watch me obey Your commands! Watch me go! I’m going to single-handedly save the day, bringing dozens of children into Your family all by myself!” And by the time Day 3 or 4 rolled around, I was in my room at my host home, furiously journaling a prayer to God, asking “Why do I feel as if I’m coming up short? Why do I feel as though I am failing?” And the Lord faithfully answered me with His truth, and pointed me to 1 Corinthians 3:5-7 which says,

 

5 What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, even as the Lord gave opportunity to each one. 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. 7 So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth.

 

Though I felt as though my own power was failing- and it was- God had never stopped working. My team and I merely planted and watered- we had to leave the growing to God. God had given us this opportunity. We had to seize it as humble servants, merely being obedient and letting God do all the work. Then after the trip, God graciously showed me 1 Corinthians 15:50-58. Jesus is victorious over sin, even the sin and spiritual battle we fought against in El Salvador that week. Jesus is victorious, and our “toil is not in vain in the Lord.” Though sin and death may faze us, their “sting” has no power over our Warrior. Do I live like I believe that? That despite my unfaithfulness, the Lord was, is, and always will be faithful? That even if I feel as if my efforts to obey fail, the Lord never ceases to move? I love Audrey Assad’s lyrics in her song, “The Way You Move”

 

All my pride, you know it doesn't
stand a chance against the way
you move you're tearing up my
roots & breaking down
walls and I don't stand a
chance at all against the way
you move...

 

Despite all of my pride, thinking I can handle life and living the Christian life on my own, thinking I can bring dozens of people to Christ by myself, I really don’t stand a chance. Though I’m blessed to be a part of it, God’s plan involves so much more than just me. He is so much bigger than just me. Do I live like I believe that? Do I live like I believe that life is all about bringing glory to God’s name and not my own? Do I live like I believe that pride in myself and my own power is a dangerous thing? Do I live like I believe that without Jesus, I can do nothing (John 15:4-5)? The past year or so, humility has been a major struggle for me – but I guess it is for most Christians. And that’s really what this post is about- humility. Stepping back and looking at the big picture- realizing that I desperately need the Lord to examine and test my heart and mind (Ps. 26:2), so that I may come to know Him better, and live in a way that believes in His power.

 

I’ve also been asking God to teach me what it means to ask in faith- it’s a hard thing for me. As Christians, I think we have absolutely no problem asking for things from God, at least I know I don’t. This summer, I was challenged to pray for the student body by some leaders at my school. I began to consistently write prayers in my prayer journal every day until school started. (Side note: I highly recommend getting yourself a prayer journal. If you’re anything like me, and zone out when you are just sitting there trying to talk to God, you need to write your prayers down. It’s also been really cool for me to go back through my prayer journal and see all of the prayers the Lord answered.) My fellow classmates became a burden on my heart, and were a constant topic I was thinking about throughout the day (they still are). I found myself asking God over and over again to radically change the hearts of my classmates, but I found that I wasn’t necessarily asking in faith. I was asking for a movement of God, but not always expecting one. I’m grateful that the Lord revealed this concept to me, because the more the Lord teaches me about it, the more I feel like it’s a vital concept for Christians to understand. Do we live our lives not only believing in the Lord’s power, but expecting it? When we go to church on Sunday morning, do we just mindlessly walk in the door, sing songs, because that’s what we always do, listen to the sermon, jot down a few notes, remark to yourself or a friend what a great message it was, and then just walk out the door, going back to our normal routine? Or do we come as the church, ready with eagerness to see what the Lord has in store, and expect the Lord to move in our hearts and teach us something new about Himself?

 

So all of that to say, I ask you and me this: who do we say God is? Do we believe He can save the lost? Do we believe His words are “living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Heb. 4:12)? Do we believe He is faithful, and will grow what we helped plant? Talking mostly to myself for this one: Do we believe that He can use those who feel they are not eloquent in speech in mighty ways, just as He used Moses- who felt very unqualified- to lead the Israelites out from the oppressive hand of Pharaoh (Ex. 4)? Do we not only believe all of these things, but expect God to move in mightily, using us in ways we could never even imagine (Eph. 3:20)?

 
Ultimately it all comes down to one question: “Who do you say that I am?” –God.